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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27909022">Nightmares</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aflawedfashion/pseuds/aflawedfashion'>aflawedfashion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Defiance (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Childhood Trauma, Father-Daughter Relationship, Found Family, Gen, Pre-Canon, Young Irisa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:41:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27909022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aflawedfashion/pseuds/aflawedfashion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As 10 year old Irisa has a nightmare, Nolan holds her hand.</p>
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<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joshua Nolan &amp; Irisa Nolan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nightmares</h2></a>
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    <p>Nolan holds Irisa’s hand as she thrashes in her sleep. He hopes it will remind her that she’s not alone anymore, that someone’s finally on her side. He wishes he could calm her frantic mind, but he knows he can’t. Not yet at least. Her trauma is too recent, their relationship too new. </p><p>His heart breaks for her. She’s too young to have nightmares like this, too young to fear the world. </p><p>He wonders if Irisa’s ever known what it feels like to be part of a loving family. Does she even know what it means to love? She doesn’t talk about her parents much, but given the conditions he found her in, it doesn’t seem likely. The thought makes him sick.</p><p>She’s only ten years old, a tortured child raised in a cult, rescued by a soldier with no inclination towards fatherhood. He regrets that he doesn’t know how to be a father, but he hadn’t intended to adopt her. It’s no excuse, but it’s the truth.</p><p>Saving her was a dumbass impulse - one of exactly two good things he’s done in his entire life. The first was refusing to keep fighting the Votans. That act of defiance must have made him soft, because not long after he put down his gun, Irisa looked at him with those big eyes, and he knew he couldn’t let her die. Once again, he had to do the right thing.</p><p>Maybe he should have given her to the Iraths. It’s what Eddie would have done, what anyone would have done if they lived his life, but he couldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t pass her around like an unwanted pet. </p><p>Irisa deserves so much more than what this rotten world had given her. She deserves a family. So he holds her hand, knowing he can’t save her from the past, but determined to give her a better future. </p>
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